Bitwaye iki kutagira uwo mukundana?

Wigeze kuba iciro ry’imigani kubera kutagira umukunzi? Byigeze bigutera ipfunwe gusobanura ko uri ingaragu cyangwa nta mukunzi muri guhuza? Akenshi ntibyakirwa neza muri sosiyete, ahubwo bakwibazaho cyane.

Imibare mishya yashyizwe ahagaragara n’Ikigo cy’Abanyamerika gikora Ubushakashatsi, Pew Research Center, yagaragaje ko mu bantu 5000 bagenzuwe imyitwarire, 50 % y’abakiri ingaragu batifuza gukunda, 10% bashaka urukundo nk’ubuhungiro, 26% bashaka urukundo rudafite intego na ho 14% bakifuza urukundo rufatika.

Urubuga rw’Abanyamerika rushyirwaho inkuru z’ubuzima, Verywell Mind, rwo rwagaragaje ko kutagira umuntu mukundana bitakwitwa amahano.

Rwagize ruti “Nta kibazo kiri mu kutagira uwo mukundana. Niba utiteguye gutangira umubano wihariye, umvira umutima wawe ndetse uterwe ishema n’amahitamo yawe, ibyo bizakurinda guhubuka no kurubabariramo.”

Igihe uvuze ko utagira umukunzi, utangira kwibazwaho byinshi. Hibazwa niba bishoboka ku muntu ukuze, niba utarwaye, niba ukiri umwana cyangwa niba wararozwe!

Bamwe bavuga ko babuze abakunzi, abandi bakavuga ko nta rukundo rukibaho, abandi bakavuga ko badakeneye gukundana bagamije kwirinda umubabaro.

Kubaka umubano uhamye byabereye bamwe nk’ikiyobyabwenge ku buryo igihe habayeho gutandukana mu rukundo, bashobora kwiyumva nk’abarwaye nubwo bamwe bavuga ko barwangiye ibikomere rwabasigiye.

Ntawakwirengagiza ko kutagira uwo mukundana ari uburenganzira bwa buri muntu, ariko gukunda bigashimisha kurushaho. Uwo uri we wese hari ibibazo wakwibaza mbere yo gutangira urugendo rw’urukundo hagati yawe n’undi muntu.

1. Mfite iyihe ntego mu rukundo?

Inkundo zose ubona zishingiye ku ntego zitandukanye, ni yo mpamvu kumenya intego yawe bizagufasha guhitamo neza.

2. Ni cyo gihe cyiza cyo gukunda?

Iki kibazo ni cyiza mbere yo gukunda kuko ushobora gusanga winjiye mu mubano utiteguye bitewe n’intego zawe, ugakatakaza umwanya cyangwa ugakomeretsa mugenzi wawe.

3. Uyu mukunzi ni we nkeneye?

Rimwe na rimwe dusabwa gukoresha umutwe tukirengagiza amarangamutima. Yego rwose ushobora kuba ugeze mu bihe byiza byo gukunda. Ariko banza usuzume imico yawe, urebe niba yahuza n’iya mugenzi wawe.